I stood at the bus stop this morning, and I hate Florida. That goes together because waiting at the bus stop requires that I stand outside, in Florida. It’s just inescapable.
But lately I’ve made some life adjustments which have had a profound change on my outlook, and nowhere is this clearer to me than at the damn bus stop. There I was, hating car exhaust, when I looked up and realized Oh wow, that is one beautiful sunrise.
Yes, it was a beautiful sunrise but honestly it wasn’t special. During the spring and summer I am at the bus stop right before or during sunrise, every morning, Monday through Friday. Some days, it’s clear and some days it’s cloudy (and when it rains I hate my life), but I’m betting that for most of those days it is a fairly common beautiful sunrise. It is the nature of a sunrise to be beautiful, really, whether we notice it or not.
I’ve spent a lot of time not noticing.
This morning, though, was different. I saw the rays of the sun cresting over the trees and buildings, the stark lines of the police station’s comm tower nearly sparkling as light hit it. The sky kept getting bluer and bluer until it was the bright, pure color of summer in Florida, and all the trees changed from dark leafy shadows to lively green living things. The word “amazing” does not begin to sum up how beautiful sunrise is.
All my life I’ve hated mornings, that dreaded time of the day when my brain was required to wake up whether it was ready or not. I’m willing to say that even now I’m not a morning person, but something profound has changed. I’ve always understood “watching a beautiful sunrise” from a theoretical perspective, but my mood has never been set to appreciate it. I’ve lived so much of my life numb or distracted, angry and sad, that I’ve rarely found any value in the old prescription, “sit back and enjoy the beauty around you.” It’s not that I didn’t know it was there, I simply was not wired to see it.
Apparently, now I am. The changes I’ve made have cleared out some very long-standing clouds from my mind.
This morning I watched a totally average, regular, unremarkable Florida sunrise.
And it was fucking gorgeous.
