I have been playing this on repeat for two days, at irregular times but often enough:
It came out in 1999 when I was 30 years old. I desperately wanted a “brand new day” in the years that followed, while also hiding behind my fears and grief as things just kept getting worse. I can’t judge myself too harshly for that (although I do, I do). I was young and wanted the song to be a portent, some kind of sign that things were going to be okay. They were not okay, oh so very not okay, for so very long, and I let the song go as I sank into cynicism and bitterness and fury and fear until I eventually pulled myself apart.
Now I am old and I have spent years putting myself together, like an archaeologist recreating a beautiful ceramic jar that got shattered in a shipwreck. I’m fractured and a bit lopsided and faded but I think I’d like to take this song back now, thank you. I mean, I’ve had so many brand new days, and I like them, and I want more.
All that to say that yesterday was mostly a day of rest for me, bringing in the new year with as little stress as possible and as much good food as possible and even a nap along the way. Keely and I slept late this morning — there is rain expected along with a cold front, but that’s not until later. We walked around the park and then I fixed myself a decadent breakfast of chaffles and tea while reading fanfic.
Here I am! My to-do list is long. Another brand new day.